


Flirting with Danger

by inkgeek



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Imprinting, Interspecies Romance, M/M, No Sex, dragon cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 12:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1605821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkgeek/pseuds/inkgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter AU</p><p>Department of Magical Creatures employee Bilbo Baggins is hired by the dwarves of Erebor to remove a dragon from their home.  A duel of fire wins Bilbo more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting with Danger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [qthewetsprocket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qthewetsprocket/gifts).



> THIS WORK IS NOT TO BE PUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED ANYWHERE (IN PRINT OR ONLINE) BY ANYONE EXCEPT MYSELF OR THOSE WITH EXPLICIT WRITTEN PERMISSION
> 
> A gift for qthewetsprocket's last birthday.
> 
> This was written before we had seen a full body picture for Smaug so here he has four legs instead of two legs like in the movie.

When the Request for Dragon Removal had been placed on his desk, Bilbo’s first instinct was to deny the request or pass it off to a more skilled wizard.  Then he had seen Gandalf’s signature on the APPROVED line below six crossed out DENIED stamps of varying age.  Bilbo had so much respect for Gandalf.  It was the grey wizard who had suggested the Ministry hire Bilbo in the first place.  “Magical hobbits are rare,” Gandalf had said, “You never know when a hobbit’s point of view will come in handy.  They may pass unseen if they wish it which would make him a great candidate for field work.”  

Something had clicked in the hobbit’s mind.  Despite Gandalf’s urging, he had spent the last nine years at his job in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures behind a desk.  Maybe it was high time he did some field work.

That field work had taken him across more of Middle Earth than he had even dreamed about.  And now, here he was, standing before the Fire-drake the dwarves had wanted removed from their mountain.  He approached the pile of gold on which the dragon was lounging and cleared his throat.  One golden eye opened.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Smaug… the Tremendous,” Bilbo began, shakily, “My name is Bilbo Baggins and I am with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.  I regret to inform you that you are trespassing and the owners of this property have filed for your eviction under the Dragon Act of 2745, Article 18, Section 3.”  Bilbo held up the slightly tattered Notice of Eviction for Smaug to see.  The dragon lifted his head from where it had been resting on his outstretched forelegs and craned his neck down to bring his large eye level with the parchment.  He snorted and smoke billowed from his nostrils.  Bilbo coughed as quietly and politely as he could.

“They may file all the paperwork they like,” said Smaug, stretching lazily, “Fire beats paper every time.”  He settled his head back on his forelegs.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Smaug, but the law is the law,” said Bilbo, gaining confidence, “If you do not vacate the premises in the time allotted, the Ministry of Magic will be legally obligated to remove you by force.”

The power of Smaug’s deep laugh took Bilbo by surprise.  The dragon threw back his head and laughed far louder and longer than the hobbit deemed entirely necessary.  Coins and jewels rattled and a fine layer of dust fell from the ceiling.  When he finally collected himself, Smaug brought his eye level with Bilbo again.  “But you are so very small,” he said, stifling another laugh.

“Mr. Smaug,” said Bilbo, quite offended, “you cannot estimate the power of an individual by their stature alone.”

“Can you not, hobbit?” asked Smaug.  He stood.  The last of the great Fire-drakes was truly enormous.  His deep red coloring was accented by the jewels embedded in the golden scales along his belly.  He shook out his wings a little to make himself appear larger still.  Bilbo’s eyes widened and his fingers involuntarily brushed his wand where it was tucked into his belt next to Sting.  “I am fairly certain you can,” said the dragon, reveling in the look of mixed fear and awe on Bilbo’s face.

“No, you cannot,” Bilbo replied, squeaky but resolute, “For all I know, you are all fat and no muscle.  You have been lazing around amongst this gold for quite some time.”  Smaug snorted again and thicker, darker smoke poured from his nostrils.  Had no one taught the hobbit it was unwise to be rude to dragons?

“I assure you that I am all muscle,” Smaug growled, “I could crush you without breaking stride.  My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death! If you think yourself more powerful than I, prove it.”

“I may do just that.”  Bilbo surprised Smaug by scrambling up the heap of gold on which the dragon stood.  The hobbit came to stand between Smaug’s forelegs and faced outward.  The dragon watched, impressed with the small creature’s bravery.  What _was_ he up to?

“Incendio!” Bilbo shouted and a fairly weak jet of flame sputtered from the end of his wand.  Smaug snorted derisively.

“You call that fire?  I have seen more impressive flames produced by muggles,” he said.  “This is fire.”  He inhaled deeply and exhaled a flame that was so powerful, Bilbo instinctively took shelter behind Smaug’s foreleg.  Even from there, Bilbo could still feel the heat of it.  Smaug ended the display by exhaling what breath he had left through his nose in great, black plumes of smoke that rose to the ceiling and hovered there.

“Most impressive, O Glorious Smaug,” said Bilbo from his hiding spot, “I fear I shall never match your abilities.”  Smaug lifted his foreleg and looked down at the hobbit.

“That much is certain.”

“Do let me try once more,” said Bilbo, drawing himself up to his full four feet and two inches.  He concentrated very hard and shouted, “Incendio maxima!”  Brilliant orange flame erupted from Bilbo’s wand.  The sheer force of it caused him to tumble down the pile of gold upon which he and the dragon had been standing.  Smaug jerked his head away from the flame to prevent himself being blinded.  His scales may have been fireproof, but his eyeballs certainly weren’t.  As the heat raked across his neck, he felt a different heat stirring in his heart.  

Bilbo ended up sort of upside down at the bottom of the heap of gold.  When he righted himself, he was startled to find Smaug standing over him, looking concerned.

\--

Outside the mountain, Thorin and company started to become a little concerned for their little auror when they saw jets of flame escaping from beneath the doors to the entrance of Erebor.

“That’s probably not a good sign,” said Balin.

“Yes, he’s probably toast,” said Bofur, looking up at the mountain. He was completely oblivious to his terribly distasteful pun.

\--

Back inside the mountain, Smaug lay curled around Bilbo.  He had been most impressed with the small wizard’s fire display.  It stirred something deep in his soul.  He wanted this hobbit to be _his_ hobbit and no one else’s.  This hobbit was suddenly worth more than all the gold in Erebor.  If Bilbo had come to harm through some fault of Smaug’s, the dragon would never forgive himself.  “I’m fine, really!” Bilbo insisted, rubbing the back of his head and wincing.  “I am!”

“I think not, hobbit.”  The dragon nosed at him gently.  Bilbo did not take kindly to that.

“Get off!” he snapped.  He shoved the large reptilian snout away forcefully and struggled to free himself from the dragon-y nest Smaug had formed around him.  Smaug rumbled with displeasure, but obligingly uncoiled his tail and released the hobbit.  Bilbo made a fruitless attempt to straighten his rumpled clothing.  “Mr. Smaug, you have three days to vacate the premises or the Ministry will take action.  Good day!”  Bilbo walked unsteadily toward the secret door through which he had entered.  Smaug watched him leave and blew an unhappy smoke ring.

\--

“I’ve given him his notice,” Bilbo announced to the dwarves when he returned to their camp on the side of the mountain that evening.

“Excellent work, auror!” said Thorin, clapping him on the shoulder.  “When will you be slaying him, then?”  Bilbo made a face.

“Never, hopefully,” he said, shrugging off Thorin’s hand.

“What do you mean, ‘never’?” Dwalin asked loudly.  He cracked his knuckles and glanced significantly up at the secret door.

“Look,” said Bilbo testily, “As I have told you, I work for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures not the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.  Even if I was a proper auror, forcible action cannot be taken unless he fails to vacate the premises in the time allotted to him and killing is to be avoided if at all possible.”  The dwarves looked at him as if they had never heard this before.

“But you signed off on our form saying you would remove the dragon,” said a very confused Ori.

“Yes, I did,” Bilbo confirmed, “but I am still bound by legal channels.”  Several dwarves opened their mouths to argue.  “None of this will even matter if he leaves of his own free will, which he might!  I have done as much as I can for now.”  And with that he picked up his bedroll and walked far enough away from camp that he could not hear their angry discussion.

\--

When Bilbo awoke in the morning, he did not open his eyes at first.  He was so comfortable.  He was wrapped tightly in his blanket and was pleasantly warm.  Eventually, the sun rose too high to ignore any longer.  Bilbo stretched and opened his eyes.

He managed to stifle the scream before it escaped his mouth.  Once again, the great red dragon was curled around him, but this time, he was asleep.  Bilbo untangled himself from his blanket as gently as possible.  Smaug inhaled deeply and sighed in his sleep.  His tail shifted, granting Bilbo a clear exit.

The dwarves were still asleep when Bilbo ran into camp.  He skidded to a halt near Thorin.  He stretched out a hand to rouse the dwarf, but thought better of it.  Thorin had Orcrist close at hand and might not react well to being shaken awake.

“Thorin,” squeaked Bilbo, his voice barely audible, “T-Thorin?!”  His voice was stronger this time, but cracked halfway through.  Thorin snuffled awake and grabbed Orcrist just as Bilbo thought he would.

“What?!  What is it?!” he said loudly.  He sat up and glanced around, looking for a foe.  Bilbo pointed shakily in the direction from which he had come.  Thorin followed Bilbo’s direction and saw, not a hundred yards from camp, the beast that had killed so many of his people and taken his home.

\--

“You did what?” hissed Gandalf, glancing over at the still-sleeping dragon.

“We had a duel of fire,” said Bilbo, “that’s all!”

“Bilbo,” Gandalf pinched the bridge of his nose, “duels of fire are Fire-drake mating displays.”

“So I was flirting with him?!”

“Essentially yes,” sighed Gandalf, “At least you didn’t aim the fire at his face.  That is tantamount to a proposal of marriage.”  Bilbo’s mouth dropped open.  “You didn’t.”

“N-not on purpose!”  Bilbo stammered, “I fell over!”  Gandalf had to walk away to collect himself.  When he returned, Gandalf calmly explained more about dragon behavior.

“Dragons are hoarding beasts,” he began, “They hoard something, usually valuables, and will not let any harm come to it.  They also imprint on their mates.  Cold-drakes usually change mates between breeding cycles, but Fire-drakes mate for life.  Since you, intentionally or not, have initiated an imprint, his hoarding behavior will now focus on you.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, this is very serious.”

“Do you think I might be able to talk him out of it?” asked Bilbo.  Gandalf thought for a moment.

“You could try, but I doubt it.  I advise strong caution.  The Men have a saying: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  They have never seen an angry Fire-drake.”

\--

Bilbo cleared his throat.  “Mr. Smaug?”  The dragon did not stir.  Bilbo tried again, a little louder.  “Smaug?”  Great, golden eyes opened.  The pupils contracted in the bright sunlight, then dilated again slightly as they focused on the hobbit.

“Hello, Bilbo,” he said, then he yawned widely.  Bilbo hadn’t realized that Fire-drakes had quite so many teeth… and so large too.

“I wanted to thank you for your cooperation in leaving the premises known as Erebor,” said Bilbo in his most official voice, “However, I feel there has been a bit of a misunderstanding about our… relationship.”  Smaug rumbled.  Disgruntled wisps of smoke escaped his nostrils.  “I did not meant to… erm…well…”  The dragon sat up.

“I have given up my hoard for you, hobbit.  All the gold, all the jewels.  I gave them up for you.  I would give it all up again in a moment.  I would fly for an Age.  I would raze all of Middle Earth to the ground if you wished it.  Will you not be mine?”  Bilbo’s heart broke a little.  He didn’t think such a large creature could sound so pitiful.

“I don’t think I’m comfortable belonging to anyone,” said Bilbo, after a beat, “but if you’d like, you could come back to my home in the Shire and live with me there.”  Smaug considered this.  He scratched furrows into the ground with his foreclaw as he thought.

“That would be agreeable.”

\--

It was more than agreeable.  Bilbo’s reluctance to be the object of the dragon’s affection disappeared on the trip back to the Shire from Erebor.  Smaug was exceptionally gentle with him.  Who knew someone so large could give such tender caresses?  Bilbo felt genuinely loved for the first time in a long time and it wasn’t long before he couldn’t imagine his life without Smaug.

The Ministry of Magic was not keen on relocating a dragon to the peaceful Shire, but things were smoothed over when Gandalf pulled a few strings.  With his share of the Erebor treasure, Bilbo commissioned a large, enclosed shelter for Smaug to be built just over the road in the South Field.  Bilbo would spend warm nights nestled against the great dragon.  They both slept better on those nights.

Having a dragon that was completely smitten with one of their own turned out to be very beneficial to the initially fearful inhabitants of Hobbiton.  Dragon claws tilled soil better than any plow.  Bilbo was able to spend more time at home since travel time back and forth to the Ministry outpost in Bree was drastically diminished if one went by dragon.

When Bilbo’s young cousin Frodo came to live at Bag End many years later, Smaug was initially uncomfortable.  He didn’t want to share.  “Smaug, he’s not going to take me away from you,” Bilbo told him softly one evening as they lay snuggled up together, “Think of it this way: Frodo is yours now, too.  You now have two hobbits, not just one old, cranky hobbit.”  Smaug purred a dragon-y purr.

“I did not think of that.  It’s just that you’ve been spending so much time with him…”

“He’s just a kid!  He needs a bit of extra looking after,” said Bilbo.  He burrowed deeper into Smaug’s coils.  “He’s only been here three days.  He’ll get settled in soon.”

 _Two hobbits!_ Smaug thought, settling down to sleep, _What luck!_

\--

When the time came for Bilbo to travel into the West, Smaug was very worried about not being able to travel with him.  The Belegaer ocean was so wide.  He did not know that he would be able to make such a long flight.  He walked very slowly with his hobbit down to the docks.  Smaug wanted to savor their last bit of time together.

“Are you sure you must go to the Undying Lands?” he asked Bilbo, “There is still time to change your mind.  We could go back to Rivendell.  Or we could go somewhere new?  I know how much you like adventures.”

“No, Smaug, my dear,” sighed Bilbo, “Not this time.  Going to the Undying Lands is an adventure all its own."

“But I don’t want you to leave.”  For the first time to Bilbo’s recollection, he heard the dragon’s voice break with sorrow.  Bilbo stopped walking.  He turned.  The dragon had stopped a few paces back.  Tears stood in his golden eyes.  "I love you."

"Oh, Smaug."  The dragon bent down, Bilbo reached up his hand, and patted Smaug's nose.  "I love you, too."

They stood there for a moment, then Smaug gently nudged Bilbo, encouraging him to walk again.  The hobbit could feel the dragon walking very closely behind him.  They rounded the corner of the path and the bay came into view.  Smaug’s heart leapt.  An enormous ship lay at anchor at the mouth of the bay.  A ship large enough to carry a dragon.


End file.
